Politically Correct Virus:
Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
Right to Life Virus:
Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.
Oprah Winfrey Virus:
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you're getting.
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T Virus.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus:
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Government Economist Virus:
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
Makes sure it's bigger than any other file.
Warren Beatty Virus:
Constantly tries to prove its virility by attaching itself to younger or newer files.
Just does it.
Quantum Leap Virus:
One day your PC is a laptop, the next day it is a Macintosh, then a Nintendo.
Adam and Eve virus:
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Bill Clinton virus:
Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Ross Perot Virus:
Activates every component on your system, just before the whole thing quits.
Mario Cuomo Virus:
It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
Dan Quayle Virus:
Their is sumthing rong with yor compueter, ewe just can't figyour out watt.
Pat Buchanan virus:
Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.
60% of the PCs infected will lose 38% of their data 14% of the time (plus or minus a 3.5% margin of error.)
Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
Federal bureaucrat virus:
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.
Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.