You think you're a hotshot because you graduated from the from University of Phoenix.

When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.

You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, do you have a webpage?"

Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends you an email.

You're amazed to find out spam is a food.

You don't buy girl scout cookies from the girl next door anymore, you buy them cheaper on ebay.

You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.

When invited to a wedding you ask will there be internet access at the reception.

At social functions you introduce your family as "my domain"

After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so "colon-right parenthesis!"